The Good and The Bad

Before I get started on the day’s adventures, I’d like to take a brief moment to talk about England. Great Britain is a land of stark contrasts. I can’t claim to be an expert on the entire country, but I can mention some things I’ve noticed in Cambridge. There are many good things and many bad things. Here is a brief list:

The good: Almost everyone rides a bicycle everywhere. The place is overflowing with them. Women ride bikes through traffic in skirts and high heels.

The bad: The bikes themselves are absolutely pathetic. I’m not talking trek commuters here. Those are like freakin’ Bentleys in this place. I’m talking Pacific cycles and no name crapboxes. Now I know where all the shitty parts made in China go…here. You’d think that if you were gonna have a bike instead of a car that you would invest in something comfortable, reliable, and worthwhile, but obviously not. Those who don’t have glorified Wally World wonders have 50 pound behemoths with motorcycle stands and iron baskets. Oh…and nobody here apparently has a pump because everyone rides around at tire pressures that can easily be achieved by mouth.

The good: Buses and public transportation are plentiful and well-used.

The bad: The entire system is very inefficient. Things that should take mere moments take forever because nobody is worried about losing their job. The only reason the system stays clean is because the British don’t litter. Also, the bus drivers are psycho. I swear that at least 3 cyclists went under our bus on the way to Cambridge, and nobody even flinched.

The good: Bathrooms are plentiful, clean, and well signed. Also, there are no euphemisms for the can. The signs say “Toilets,” instead of restroom or powder room or “go in this room to get rid of your sinful waste.”

The bad: British toilets use approximately 150 gallons of water per flush. Rather than come up with a toilet that produces an efficient drain vortex, the British dump as much water into the bowl at once to disrupt any kind of potential flow.

The good: The British value each other’s sanity, fun, and social time. The system here is designed to allow students flexibility to take advantage of each other’s company. Teatime is a must. Parties are a must. Workweeks are short, and people party on weeknights. During the Catholic service I attended today (see day’s description), the preacher prayed that those with anxiety about their work would find serenity.

The bad: Drunk people are scary at night, and the British drink too much.

The good: The British drive small, efficient, and cool cars.

The bad: Many of them drive like they are trying to kill every pedestrian and cyclist in sight. The streets are so narrow that two tiny cars can’t pass each other in opposite directions, and the British view this as a good thing because it “calms” traffic. In fact, they actually artificially narrow the streets in certain areas to produce this claimed effect (see sign picture from today's adventures).

The good: Most British people are very nice and sound very smart because of their accent. Also, I’m of the opinion that the British are, in fact, more attractive than Americans.

The bad: It is super trippy to walk down the street and hear everyone speaking with a British accent. 10 year old boys sound like old men. Fully grown women sound like little girls. It’s pure madness.

And one last bad: Most sinks have a separate hot and cold tap. How the hell does that work? You either scald or freeze your hands. Can they be serious about you filling an entire sink to wash your hands? Is that really sanitary if everyone else is doing it too?