Busy Weekend!

Wow! What a weekend! Having your own place is a lot of work, especially until you get it set up. After a wonderful Friday afternoon ride with my coworker Auden (doc and ex-personal chef to King Hussein of Jordan), I borrowed her truck for the next day's activities. I also had a plunge in the still very cold CT river off of Auden's dock. Teresa and I met up to watch Hanover High's production of Beauty and the Beast. Teresa had been helping out with the makeup and raving about the performances. It really was wonderful. The leads were amazing! Now T and I have been walking around for days whistling the tunes.

Saturday was an early morning. I headed down to Plainfield where my coworker Cindy and her husband, Keith, live. They were kind enough to offer me a bed, a dresser, and a huge vanity for free! The bed is so cool! It has storage in the headboard, and the mattress is basically brand new! The wood color and hardware are pretty 70's, but hey...its a project! After loading up a huge truckload, I headed up to the grocery store to shop for that night's housewarming BBQ. Kolene, her mom, and Begem helped me unload everything from the truck. I took the afternoon to head out for a great mtn bike ride on my new secret trails. I rode the "spine" trail. Wow! It literally follows a spine through the forest, with drop offs on both sides and big rock ledges throughout! I love those trails. Next was prep for the BBQ. I was cooking for 13 people! The menu was as follows: Ben's special BBQ chicken rub, Ben's special turkey burgers (with cheese inside!), grilled veggies, Grandma Jean's baked french fries, and poached pears for dessert. The BBQ was a great success, except for the gloomy weather. It was wonderful to see my large table being put to good use.

On Sunday morning, Teresa and I headed over to Home Depot to pick out a color and hardware for the dressers and bed. We settled on "Arctic Blue," a nearly white, but beautiful blue with some very modern hardware. I started sanding and painting that afternoon in the extra bedroom. I guess that that is one good thing about having no roommate yet. I snuck out for a quick hard climb up Trescott hill in the beautiful, new kit that the Williams Cycling Team gave me! Wow...what a blur of a weekend.

Yesterday was a long day at work, but I rewarded myself with a loop up Tigertown Road and a descent down Beaver Meadow Road into Norwich. Tigertown is a wonderful dirt road climb that follows a river and crosses a shallow lake with no guard rails. After a gloomy day, the sun came out in full force just as I was starting the climb. Glorious. I arrived home to a wonderful dinner procured by Teresa, and we treated ourselves to dairy twirl afterwards.

Thank you to everyone who has donated for my Prouty ride! We've raised over 600 dollars! Some members of the Williams Cycling team are thinking about coming up to ride it with me. I think that we'll look pretty cool in our flashy new white kits.



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Pluggin' along

Nothing much new to report here. Been working a lot and continuing to work on the new place. No roommate yet. People express interest and nearly commit, then back out. Fun stuff.

I rediscovered a whole new network of trails on Tuesday. They are, of course, on no map and confusing as all hell. So, why are they worth it? Well, let's see... They are out my back door. They were clearly built by mtn bikers for mtn bikers. They have more slickrock than I've ridden in Colorado. And they cover about 10 trail miles per mile of actual progress, searching and snaking for the best features in the whole forest. Pictures soon.

In honor of bike/walk to work day, some more pics of the commute. You can see the giant downage that I deal with everyday. I've been in negotiations with the hospital for a couple of weeks now about getting it removed. Check out that root ball! Also a few pics of Drake Lane. And finally, the newest addition to the Eklund family: Heidi.

Prouty

Blog Readers-

One of the things that I love about this blog is that I know people are out there reading it. And I'm not talking about the occasional internet stalker in Turkey (though I have had one hit in Turkey). I'm talking about friends and family. These are the people who we all have in our lives who we care about very much, but with whom we simply can't maintain a connection all of the time. I love that I receive replies to my blog email updates from family and friends reaffirming their love for me and their love of that day's blog entry. So, it is with the mindset that my friends and family out there are reading this that I post the following entry. Don't worry...its not too heavy or anything.

On July 11th, I'm going to ride in the annual Prouty fundraising ride. The ride raises money for the Norris Cotton Cancer Center at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center and its peripheral facilities. In addition to being my place of employment, NCCC is part of the reason that I received the amazing care that I did. And though my ordeal sucked, I see people in the waiting room of the Cancer Center everyday that have it far, far worse than I did. The Prouty raises big time money for cancer research and treatment at NCCC. This year they are hoping to raise 2.25 million. As a cancer survivor myself, I'm pretty sure that I get to wear some sort of special recognizer when I ride the 50 mile loop. The whole thing is supposed to be an incredible event. In order to participate, though, I need to raise at least $150. I'm aiming to raise much more than that, though. I'm hoping to raise more than that, and I hope that blog readers will pitch in. It is super easy to sponsor me, you just have to visit the link below. Thanks a ton, everyone.

Ben's Prouty Donation Page

Commuting

Well, today's entry was a mishmash of ideas in my head, and its going to a mishmash of ideas on the interweb too. Let's start with the important stuff.

I wouldn't say that the "nesting" has quite begun at the new place yet, though it does officially smell like Indian food now. Still, my life quality has taken a dramatic turn for the better since moving in. How many people can say that their commute looks like this? How many people can say that they get to enjoy the gently pitter-patter of rain on the way to work?


How many people can say that their commute is meditative?



And how many people can say that they meet friends like this on the way home from work?



Not many, that's for sure. I am one lucky guy. I have only driven my car ONCE this week for about 10 minutes each way. Awesome.

And for another laugh today, "The Best YouTube Video Ever" from Kate Scheider. I'm inclined to agree. I can't believe that the narrator is able to keep a straight face. The video speaks for itself. Art, at its highest form.

Beaker

Thanks to Andy for forwarding this one:

Grey Day

Well, its a slow day at work today, and its a grey day here in Hanover. I'm reminded of this day way back when. I promised pics then and never delivered. So, here they are now.

Life is good. Mental outlook is improving. Its going to take a while to settle into my new place, despite how incredibly nice it is. This year has really done a number on me. Still, discovering more and more and more trails out my back door helps. I hope to consider Hanover "mine" by the end of the summer.

Pics.

Work is going great this week. I'm moving to Sachem Village tomorrow!!!!

And again...

Again...I let the blog slide. For that I apologize. Still, at least I'm still updating at all.

A lot has happened since the last time, but probably the biggest change has been Teresa's absence for the past week. She's been down in the Domincan Republic on a family vacation, forcing me to reckon with my fears of being alone. Clearly, I've missed her very much, but I've also been very, very busy. The pain of her departure was eased somewhat by an unexpected, concurrent visit by my Dad. It was great to see him and be comforted by his presence, especially given that my departure from Colorado was rocked by snowstorms and emotional turmoil. Kolene's mom was up visiting on Sunday, so the four of us all went to brunch in Queechee. It was a great day. Dad and I were able to catch the end of the Dartmouth road race just minutes from my house before he took off for a meeting in Quebec.

I started work on Monday, though I wasn't officially hired until Thursday. Darlene, the project assistant, turned in her resignation letter only days after I decided to come on board. So, Sue (my boss) thought it would be a good thing for me to spend a few days with Darlene before she left. Though I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be doing, Darlene was great. She seems very innocuous at first, but really tells it how it is. I'll miss her presence and guidance, but now I have my own office in the Cancer Center. Pretty cool for a 23 y/o punk. Finally, after weeks of red tape and BS, I was officially offered the job on Thursday, and the pay was higher than any of us were expecting. Very, very cool, especially given all of the anxiety I've been having about my finances lately. I didn't work on Thursday or Friday, but I did teach Kaplan three nights this week. So, I felt that Thursday was a deserved rest.

Much of the week was dominated by unexpected and acute pain in my remaining testicle and inguinal canal. Dr. Seigne was quick to offer reassurances. And though the pain was very severe early in the week, rest, anti-inflammatories, and ice had me feeling much better by Thursday. This was a very good thing because I was very much looking forward to my trip down to Williamstown where I planned to do a lot of riding with Bruce. The weather forecast for the weekend added to the excitement for the trip. I took over for Bruce and Jodi's on Friday morning under beautiful blue skies and with great, great excitement to see my pseudofamily in Williamstown. So far the trip has been absolutely everything I could have hoped for. Great rides (sans testicle pain), beautiful weather (91 F today!!!!!), relaxation, great food, swimming holes, and generally positive vibes. I can't thank Bruce and Jodi enough for the hospitality they have shown me over the years.

I'm dying for Teresa to return tomorrow. I certainly hope that I'll be able to see her before my early bedtime. I have to be at DHMC orientation at 8am on Monday! I also found out that I can avoid the priority system for awesome Dartmouth grad housing if I take a unit as soon as next week. So, my parents and I are mulling that over, but its looking like I'll be moving AGAIN. Hopefully, this is the last time. Hopefully, this is the permanent solution. Hopefully, this will be the home that allows me to earth myself for good.

Passover

My Dear Blog Followers-

Again, I must apologize for letting time slip away. I'm sure that some of you figured, "Well, the cancer's done. He's gone back to Dartmouth. The blogging must be over." I'm determined to not let that happen. This blog has proved to be such an invaluable tool for keeping in touch with those that I care about that I can't let it slip away. That makes the extremely abbreviated version to follow even more of a crime.

Unfortunately, my anxiety about returning to the Upper Valley reached a crescendo point the afternoon before my departure. Crazy plans trying to work around a crazy "blizzard," finally sent me over the edge. Still, everything turned out to be fine. The storm dropped barely a dusting before my departure, despite the catastrophizing of local news channels. My travels couldn't have gone smoother. Isn't Southwest awesome? Still, leaving the care of my parents and family after months and months of constant supervision and reassurance was not easy. It was like having to become an adult all over again.

One of the two things that I was looking forward to upon my return was waiting for me at the airport. My beautiful, sweet Teresa and I drove home to Hanover, picked up a wonderful Indian dinner, and played house at her grandparents, as they are out of town. I did the other thing that I was excited about on Sunday...the first ride. It proved to be a moderately warm and sunny day to take the Serotta out for her third ride ever. I felt slow and weak, as was to be expected, but luckily I had gotten in a few pedal strokes in on the spinning bike the previous week.

The rest of the week was surprisingly busy. A trip to Burlington on Monday to meet the Kaplan staff and proctoring at Dartmouth that evening. Visiting my future office at the Cancer Center on Tuesday and teaching my first MCAT class at Dartmouth. The class went very well, but word spread like wildfire amongst my classmates that I was back and teaching classes in Dana library. Wednesday was most remarkable for the Seder that Teresa and I hosted at her grandparents house. I spent the afternoon cooking matzo ball soup, noodle kugel, chicken, and a toffee desert. It was wonderful to be surrounded by such good friends on an occasion normally marked by family. The latter half of the week was more unremarkable, although I did get new summer tires for my car and finish a total rebuild of my mountain bike with some tasty new parts. How else is a cyclist supposed to stay sane in a recovery period?

Despite the actual events going on in the week and all of the little tasks that have to be accomplished when one comes home after months of absence, the week was really divided into two parts. The first half of the week was characterized by markedly high anxiety levels on my parts. Again, I felt glued to Teresa's side in an unhealthy way. That part of the week underscored the magnitude of the most important self-assigned task in the months ahead: defeating my reemerging anxiety. The second part of the week was entered after Teresa and I spent a night apart. I began to relax a bit and show less fear about being on my own. And with less strain on the relationship, Teresa and I became even more tightly intertwined. I saw my therapist for the first time in months on Friday, and he feels that there are definitely some interesting things going on surrounding my anxiety and apprehension about being alone. Before I even left to come back, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness meditation everyday. And though I've not been perfect, I have been pretty good.

What else? Well, I've been riding. Its going well, though I'm very, very antsy to get out mtn biking and I'm going to be slow for a while. I've moved into my new room in Barry and Sarah's house, which is much nicer and is on the first floor. Barry is now gone for 9 months to a year in North Carolina working with a restauranteur down there. So, it is just Sarah and I, and she's going to be out of town for quite some time now anyway. That pretty much leaves Saba and I. My job at the cancer center is slightly delayed due to bureaucracy surrounding the hiring freeze at the college, but I'm still hoping to start very soon. I've gotten some phenomenally astronomical bills from the hospital and some very cryptic reasons for insurance rejecting certain claims. As if cancer wasn't bad enough...

And to be honest, that's about it. I'm sending love out to everyone reading this.

The Last Weekend

Well, once again time has slipped away from me, and I have neglected my blogging responsibilities. So, here we go..

After the snow hit hard on Thursday, I took the light rail down to Dad's office. He and I made the trip up to his house in the truck. The plows had also neglected their responsibilities, so it was a very bumpy ride home. My gut did not appreciate that, nor did the many, many cars that were off of the road. Still, we made it home safely to Blue Mountain where the snow was above the sills on the truck.

On Friday, I hung around the house with CB and Marjorie, so that Karyn could get out for a bit in the middle of the day. As parts rolled in for dad's Karate Monkey, I installed them and tweaked the bike to my taste. That night, Karyn and I made panko-breaded chicken. On Saturday, I went into Boulder with Sophie to hang with Kate and Spencer. We talked, worked on bikes, and fondled bikes. I was able to use Kate and Spencer's tools to adjust the hubs on the Karate Monkey that were set far too tight at the factory. When we were satisfied with our work, we headed back up to my dad's house for dinner. Since Kate is a vegan, we had a great vegan dinner inspired by the polenta that Karyn had had the previous day at the Duchanbe teahouse. Kate is an amazing chef, so check out her and Spencer's food blog at: http://tofurketychronicles.blogspot.com. Unfortunately, I splashed my hand and arm with some seriously hot oil and sustained a major burn on my thumb. After dinner, we headed back to Boulder where I met up with Kristen, Ryan, Kyle, and others for a fun game night. We played Kemps and had a seriously good time doing it.

By Sunday most of the snow had already melted. Sunday was a gorgeous day, so Dad and I spent time lazily lounging in the sun and fitting him to the Karate Monkey. I hopped on a bike for the first time, as I cruised around on the KM to check the tuning. Overall, it didn't feel horrible, but I obviously didn't feel very strong either. Not only could Sophie outrun me down the driveway, but also she is so fast that she would spray me with dirt flecks running back up the driveway. After some hardcore lounging, I headed down to Denver to meet Mom, Gary, Susan, and Paul at the restaurant "Bones." I had a bit of extra time beforehand and felt myself slipping into a bad place, so I stopped at Cheeseman park to do a bit of meditating. Unfortunately, the beautiful day brought out the gay men in force. The gay men themselves don't bother me, and, let's face it, I'm on their turf in Cheeseman park anyway. Still, their obnoxious music and peacocking made it very difficult to meditate. After tasting clarity briefly, I headed off to "Bones." None of us had ever been to this small restaurant before, but it proved to be incredible. For appetizers, we had: shrimp dumplings in a savory foam, escargot potstickers, miso-marinated beef rib eggrolls, young yellowtail, and bone marrow. All were unique and superior. The only main courses offered at Bones are noodle bowls. Half of the table opted for the lobster-miso ramen, an incredibly buttery experience, while the other half opted for the braised pork udon, an equally savory affair. For desert, there was soft serve ice cream: vanilla with essence of captain crunch or chocolate with Nestle Quik. Wow...just wow. Highly recommended.

On Monday morning, I awoke to more rapidly falling snow. In response, Melissa and I cancelled plans to go all the way down to the Children's Museum with Eli and Emma. Little did we know that all of the snow would be melted within hours, and blue skies would rule the rest of the day. Still, we took the kids over to "Little Monkey Business," an indoor playground and madhouse. Screaming, running children were everywhere. Eli and I had a blast, but it left us both exhausted. Promise of a ride in the truck was all that could get Eli over to Auntie's for lunch. That evening, the whole family came over for dinner at our house too. Since my friends Samantha and Stuart arrived back in Denver for good last Wednesday, they joined us as well. It was great to have the house so full of family and friends. After the family took off, Stu, Sam, and I sat and talked for a couple of hours. Samantha offered some great advice and perspective on my anxieties about spending time alone. She attributes her anxiety about that to her upbringing as an only child. After spending so much time alone, once you meet someone, you don't want to let go. And as I look back over my life, that has always been the case. As Gary says, I'm a serial monogamist. Still, something clicked this fall that sent me reeling every time I am along now.

Today (Tuesday) has been equally eventful. I went to Tichy again in the morning for my last acupuncture treatment before leaving. Of course I would have healed while at home, but I attribute the rapidity of my recovery, especially in the numbness, to Tichy's work. After seeing Tichy and him saying that we worked a lot on my self-worth, I went out to the truck and did some of my own self-worth work by nailing down my job back in Hanover. I spoke with Dr. Sue Tanski, who I met by chance at one of Teresa's doctor's appointments. She and I spoke at length about a potential full or part time research position on her project, which involves smoking cessation for parents. Honestly, I would do any kind of research for her. She says that her highest priority is quality of life for everyone in the office. I can work whenever I want, so long as the work gets done and I'm self-motivated. I'm going to have my own office space in the Cancer Center at DHMC. Several other people on the team are AVID cyclists, so I'm only adding fuel to the fire. I'm hoping for lunchtime rides and group commutes. This summer, I'll actually get to supervise the two undergrads that we have coming from Colby-Sawyer and Wesleyan. No day will be the same. I'll be writing, going to clinics, doing interviews, and I'm even allowed to shadow docs whenever I want! I'll get to go on two research retreats to a giant house on a lake that Dartmouth owns for just that purpose. Basically...it sounds like a dream come true, and I start on April 14th. Awesome. I feel much more settled about going back now, but still scared about assuming real-life responsibilities again. I mean...I haven't had to worry about a meal in months. Now, its my fault if I go hungry. Time to grow up again...

Today was also eventful because I finally spun the pedals for the first time. My legs felt weak, sad, and noodley as I tried to take an easy 25 minute spin at the athletic club. Still, they don't feel dead, so that's a start. I did a lot of stretching and work with the foam roller before and after the ride. I also tried to do a bit of ab work too. Unfortunately, my inguinal canal region still feels pretty weak, so I'm going to have baby that area for a bit longer to avoid a hernia. Patience will definitely be the key to a successful move back onto the bike.

Well, Saturday creeps closer. I'm still nervous. I think it will be much better once I'm there. I can't wait to see Teresa. I view this as not just a new life, but also a new period in my relationship with T. Hopefully, as I begin to put my head in the proper place, our relationship will blossom even more. I feel so bad that I was never my normal self throughout the entire thing. I hope to make right on that now.

I guess that I was pretty nervous and introspective from an early age: