As I've mentioned before, Dad always sends me these great weekend updates to make me feel in touch with life at home. This weekend's version had me laughing out loud. I thought you all might enjoy this little excerpt:
Sunday was : Recycling Day !!!!!!!!!! Piled the wife, the recyclables and the dog into the truck and off we went early. Stopped at Einsteins for a bagel and coffee and then on to the recycle site. Then, pit stop at the rental to disgorge some junk and get other junk. While there, I decided to trim the neighbor's bush which scratches my truck every time I go down the side driveway. So: Karyn and wild dog Sophie are in the back parking lot. I am about halfway up the driveway chopping away. All of a sudden (and this happened in less than a second) Sophie spots a German Shepard walking down the sidewalk on Alpine and barks and takes off like a rocket sled. I spin around and hear the bark and see this missile shooting up the driveway towards the 300 lb. seething German Shepard. I spin around (like I said) and simultaneously drop the clippers and spontaneously do a Derrick Jeeter short stop lauch of my body in a horizontal jump and I am flying sideways across the driveway to block the oncoming 100 mph Sophiemissile. I arrive at Sophie's trajectory on time and she bounces off me as I scream: NO! She deflects and goes back towards the lot. Meanwhile, I am still flying horizontal and BAM!! my head encounters the side of the brick 4 plex.
I feel my spine compress at least 6 inches and my upper and lower teeth slam into each other. I see tweety birds overhead. My neck feels like Dick the Bruiser has pounded a fencepost into the ground with me. I stand up and wonder how much shorter I am now. I am reeling and Karyn is saying things like " Whoa ! That was impressive!! " I swear, the whole thing took about 1 second. Karyn wanted to take me to the emergency room but I just wanted to go to McGucks. I took a few Ibuprofin when I got there and just gathered myself up and went on with the day...rather pissed at Sophie.
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