Again, I apologize for my conspicuous lack of activity on the blog lately. Not having functional internet up in the apartment here is killing me.
I'm not going to offer a day-by-day update. When you are recovering from major surgery, everything blends together from a drug-induced haze into an indistinguishable monotony. So, there's not a lot that is very remarkable, except to say that I'm improving everyday. I seem to have plateaued a bit now, but that's just because the differences from day to day aren't quite so remarkable. Still, I've somehow made the transition from a very, very delicate and non-motile individual to a delicate and motile person.
Though my abdomen is still quite distended for my taste, it really has come down quite a bit. My major pain now centers on some weird deep muscle pain in my leg/groin that just happens to land right underneath some newfound cutaneous numbness in my L1/L2 dermatomes. I'm not sure what the muscle pain is about, but the numbness is almost certainly from cut cutaneous nerves or them just mucking around in that general area back there. The numbness doesn't bother me so much as the pain, though I do hope that both resolve. The other major discomfort that I have is from lying down or rolling over in bed. Basically, I can feel my intestines move inside me, and I do NOT like it. It sends a jolt of pain/sensation all the way up into my jaw, like nails on a chalkboard. I've been trying to stretch to alleviate this muscle pain. Well, last night I bent over to touch my toes, and my intestines decided that they would go along for the ride and say hello to my diaphragm. Needless to say, I was not pleased.
Other than that, life continues on. Mom and Gary left yesterday. I was very sad to see them go. Gary's presence is always so calming. And Mom has been the best Mom in the whole world throughout this. She has been my everything. Cooking, worrying, doing generally everything. I'll never be able to do enough to thank her for this one. Dad just came back today, so I'm happy to see him. I'm looking forward to traveling home with him. I trust no one to make the journey easier for me than him. And through all of the comings and goings of my family, Teresa has been a constant fixture. Besides continuing to work, she's gone out of her way to make my life as fun and happy as possible through all of this. Her family, particularly J. Lyons and T (her grandparents), have just been so great too. We go down to the house for dinner, and they join us in the apartment for dinner. We have the greatest conversations. I just love it here so much. I can't imagine going through this without the gift of their apartment and their company.
And to everyone that isn't here. Thank you again for your continued support. All of the cards, gifts, love, notes, calls, etc. are so, so appreciated.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sunday con't, Monday and Tuesday
Over the past few days Ben has made great progress but in very tiny steps. We celebrated small and large victories. Koleen (which I mostly pronounce wrong-it's like colon Ben keeps telling me) came by on Monday night with the mail for Ben that had been delivered to Barry and Sarah's house (after she picked up it up from their kitchen in a totally dark house while they were sleeping at night). That was a very funny story. Ben, of course, couldn't laugh without holding a pillow to his abdoman and even then it hurt so we had to tell funny stories only in moderation. Harry violated that rule repeatedly and we had to make him put on a surgicle mask at times so Ben couldn't see his face (which made him laugh just to look at Harry's expressions as he tells a story or even just sits silently in a chair). Harry posted a "No Laughing" sign on the refrigerator but as I said he was the worst repeat offender.
It may sound small but the prune juice prescribed by Aunt Jan, Harry's nurse friend, and finally Teresa's grandfather on Monday night (when we thought we were going to have to go back to the hospital, we just popped in to "Pop and T's for a house call at his house just downstairs) did the trick on Monday night. Down with stool softeners. Just give us that prune juice.We weened Ben to 1 Vicodin and 1 Tylenol every 4, then 5, then 6 hours. He took his last Vicodin ( he had it with the drugs) at 10 am on Tuesday and switched to 2 extra strength tylenol every 6 hours with a couple of aleve thrown in every now and then.
On Tuesday, I emailed Dr. Seigne (our hero) to ask if Ben's lab results were in. He wrote back within minutes that they were posted on his computer but he would call them. Then he called Ben's cell phone and my cell phone but didn't get us in the afternoon. I emailed right back and said we had missed his calls but were anxious to hear. Ben called back and got the great news and Dr. Seigne emailed me right after he spoke to Ben. Kolene and Begem, two of the greatest friends anyone could have came over to have dinner with us to celebrate. Harry got a bottle of champagne and we toasted the big victory. Beeker too. We even took some over to Pop and T's and they came over to the apartment to say hello to Begem and Kolene. Did I mention that Pop and T, Teresa's grandparents (aka Dr. Jack and Mrs. Terry-"T" Lyons) have made us feel so comfortable here? We are forever grateful. In addition, Dr. Lyons is the greatest teacher ever for Anatomy Lab for Ben, Begem and Kolene. And I could talk to Terry forever.
Harry is going back to Denver today and Gary will be here tomorrow to reinforce Team Ben Recovery. Gary and I will go back to Denver on Tuesday and Harry will return on that fun JetBlue redeye flight overnight on Tuesday so he can be here with Ben for his follow up appointment with Dr. Seigne on Wednesday to get his release to travel back to Denver on Saturday March 14. I have been on line and on the phone as the resident travel agent making everyone's travel plans. I'll have to add the pictures later because the little "add image" button doesn't like me this morning.
Thanks to all of you on Team Ben for your love and support. We couldn't do it without you.
It may sound small but the prune juice prescribed by Aunt Jan, Harry's nurse friend, and finally Teresa's grandfather on Monday night (when we thought we were going to have to go back to the hospital, we just popped in to "Pop and T's for a house call at his house just downstairs) did the trick on Monday night. Down with stool softeners. Just give us that prune juice.We weened Ben to 1 Vicodin and 1 Tylenol every 4, then 5, then 6 hours. He took his last Vicodin ( he had it with the drugs) at 10 am on Tuesday and switched to 2 extra strength tylenol every 6 hours with a couple of aleve thrown in every now and then.
On Tuesday, I emailed Dr. Seigne (our hero) to ask if Ben's lab results were in. He wrote back within minutes that they were posted on his computer but he would call them. Then he called Ben's cell phone and my cell phone but didn't get us in the afternoon. I emailed right back and said we had missed his calls but were anxious to hear. Ben called back and got the great news and Dr. Seigne emailed me right after he spoke to Ben. Kolene and Begem, two of the greatest friends anyone could have came over to have dinner with us to celebrate. Harry got a bottle of champagne and we toasted the big victory. Beeker too. We even took some over to Pop and T's and they came over to the apartment to say hello to Begem and Kolene. Did I mention that Pop and T, Teresa's grandparents (aka Dr. Jack and Mrs. Terry-"T" Lyons) have made us feel so comfortable here? We are forever grateful. In addition, Dr. Lyons is the greatest teacher ever for Anatomy Lab for Ben, Begem and Kolene. And I could talk to Terry forever.
Harry is going back to Denver today and Gary will be here tomorrow to reinforce Team Ben Recovery. Gary and I will go back to Denver on Tuesday and Harry will return on that fun JetBlue redeye flight overnight on Tuesday so he can be here with Ben for his follow up appointment with Dr. Seigne on Wednesday to get his release to travel back to Denver on Saturday March 14. I have been on line and on the phone as the resident travel agent making everyone's travel plans. I'll have to add the pictures later because the little "add image" button doesn't like me this morning.
Thanks to all of you on Team Ben for your love and support. We couldn't do it without you.
Catching Up
So I decided to post this update a bit out of order since many of you asked for the details. I've been typing this in Word but I haven't been on line to post it. And we had to share the amazing great news yesterday with all of you as soon as we got it.
OK this will test my memory. It’s Monday morning, March 2, 2009. The guy on TV just said this is a true Nor’easter (that’s how he said it and btw spell check knows the word). It’s snowing out and we look out on a beautiful old barn from Teresa’s grandparents apartment which we moved to late afternoon Sunday but I get ahead of myself. . I’ll get the picture on here later. No Internet connection on the computer and typing this entry on my iPhone will be too hard so I and anyone else who contributes will just type away and we’ll post when we can hook up to the internet.
Ben walked on Friday night very gingerly and with a walker because he was having terrible shoulder pain (even through the PCA morphine-stands for patient controlled something with an “a”-) from the carbon dioxide pumped in his abdomen to create more space in the surgical field. It settles in the shoulders. They also used heat on his shoulders to help with that.
Teresa stayed on a cot in Ben’s room on Friday night and did her best to deal with his Darth Vader hallucinations. Neither got too much sleep because in a hospital (I know they think they’re helping), they apparently think it’s healthier to keep waking you up to do things to you and make sure your pain level is under control. Now it seems to me that if you’re sleeping (drug induced or not) and your pain isn’t waking you up, best to leave well enough alone especially if your patient is still hallucinating. Harry and I just were dead to the world over at the Residence Inn. I had eaten my baked potato dinner at 10 and was exhausted .We got up and got ready and had a good breakfast before heading over to the hospital. Despite a rough night, Ben looked way better but was a little grouchy. Teresa was her usual wonderful self. After we got there, Teresa went to eat her breakfast (which we brought from the Residence Inn) so we took over. The nurses were very attentive but Ben was his usual “high maintenance” self so we were busy all day trying to keep him “happy. I use that term very loosely. He was able to keep liquids down on Friday after the surgery and had no nausea. They took out his catheter and he started peeing in a bottle (I thought to myself that it’s much easier to be a bedridden guy than a female) and then pretty quickly in the bathroom in something called a “toilet hat” which looks like a hat and measures his output. Ben won the prize for the whole hospital- 5 liters of pee on Saturday. Switched him to oral Vicodin so disconnected his IV (but left in the “ports” to give him Toredal too). That’s important because on Sunday when he was about 6 hours from his last dose of that, the pain was definitely breaking through the oral Vicodin. He was able to eat chicken noodle soup and crackers for lunch. If I could have brought some from phone, I’m sure that would have been better for his soul but I have to say the care to a person was incredibly caring and reassuring. Teresa stayed with him again on Saturday night and they got a little more sleep.
I started this entry on Monday morning and now its Tuesday morning.
Sunday, he was starting to meet more of the discharge criteria (more talk about “passing gas and getting closer to pooping” than when he was a baby.) By Sunday noon, not even 48 hours after the end of the surgery, they were saying he could go home that afternoon. His friends Emily and Liz (2nd year med students) came to visit (they had come when he was in recovery and we have a picture of that which I will try to remember to post). And Carol Ann ?, one of his med school teachers, came by. Turns out her husband was Ben’s anesthesiologist and she had asked him to be on Ben’s case if he could. Teresa went to high school with his daughters which we talked about with him in pre-op. So nice to know he was in the hands of great doctors but also people who had a special connection to him. So around 4 ish, he walked with his walker to the door. I pushed the wheelchair just in case but it was piled like The Beverly Hillbillies car so not sure where we would have put Ben. Thanks to all for the beautiful flowers, balloons, stuffed animals and very large cards. Begem and Kolene had come to visit and stayed until “discharge” so they helped us carry all his stuff. Teresa met us at the door after work to drive him home. Harry and I drove his car. We arrived at Teresa’s grandparent’s home where our apartment was ready and stocked with all the comforts of home. Teresa’s Mom, Tracey, even bought me some shampoo and conditioner I had used at their house the last time I was there which I happened to mention that I liked (you can't do that with her because she will make sure you have it the next time you visit) so I could upgrade from the cheap stuff from the Residence Inn. Ben went to bed. Harry went to the store and we made brown rice broccoli and sauteed chicken and garlic for dinner.
I'm going to post now and then will add pictures and continue this entry later.Love to all of you.
Amy
OK this will test my memory. It’s Monday morning, March 2, 2009. The guy on TV just said this is a true Nor’easter (that’s how he said it and btw spell check knows the word). It’s snowing out and we look out on a beautiful old barn from Teresa’s grandparents apartment which we moved to late afternoon Sunday but I get ahead of myself. . I’ll get the picture on here later. No Internet connection on the computer and typing this entry on my iPhone will be too hard so I and anyone else who contributes will just type away and we’ll post when we can hook up to the internet.
Ben walked on Friday night very gingerly and with a walker because he was having terrible shoulder pain (even through the PCA morphine-stands for patient controlled something with an “a”-) from the carbon dioxide pumped in his abdomen to create more space in the surgical field. It settles in the shoulders. They also used heat on his shoulders to help with that.
Teresa stayed on a cot in Ben’s room on Friday night and did her best to deal with his Darth Vader hallucinations. Neither got too much sleep because in a hospital (I know they think they’re helping), they apparently think it’s healthier to keep waking you up to do things to you and make sure your pain level is under control. Now it seems to me that if you’re sleeping (drug induced or not) and your pain isn’t waking you up, best to leave well enough alone especially if your patient is still hallucinating. Harry and I just were dead to the world over at the Residence Inn. I had eaten my baked potato dinner at 10 and was exhausted .We got up and got ready and had a good breakfast before heading over to the hospital. Despite a rough night, Ben looked way better but was a little grouchy. Teresa was her usual wonderful self. After we got there, Teresa went to eat her breakfast (which we brought from the Residence Inn) so we took over. The nurses were very attentive but Ben was his usual “high maintenance” self so we were busy all day trying to keep him “happy. I use that term very loosely. He was able to keep liquids down on Friday after the surgery and had no nausea. They took out his catheter and he started peeing in a bottle (I thought to myself that it’s much easier to be a bedridden guy than a female) and then pretty quickly in the bathroom in something called a “toilet hat” which looks like a hat and measures his output. Ben won the prize for the whole hospital- 5 liters of pee on Saturday. Switched him to oral Vicodin so disconnected his IV (but left in the “ports” to give him Toredal too). That’s important because on Sunday when he was about 6 hours from his last dose of that, the pain was definitely breaking through the oral Vicodin. He was able to eat chicken noodle soup and crackers for lunch. If I could have brought some from phone, I’m sure that would have been better for his soul but I have to say the care to a person was incredibly caring and reassuring. Teresa stayed with him again on Saturday night and they got a little more sleep.
I started this entry on Monday morning and now its Tuesday morning.
Sunday, he was starting to meet more of the discharge criteria (more talk about “passing gas and getting closer to pooping” than when he was a baby.) By Sunday noon, not even 48 hours after the end of the surgery, they were saying he could go home that afternoon. His friends Emily and Liz (2nd year med students) came to visit (they had come when he was in recovery and we have a picture of that which I will try to remember to post). And Carol Ann ?, one of his med school teachers, came by. Turns out her husband was Ben’s anesthesiologist and she had asked him to be on Ben’s case if he could. Teresa went to high school with his daughters which we talked about with him in pre-op. So nice to know he was in the hands of great doctors but also people who had a special connection to him. So around 4 ish, he walked with his walker to the door. I pushed the wheelchair just in case but it was piled like The Beverly Hillbillies car so not sure where we would have put Ben. Thanks to all for the beautiful flowers, balloons, stuffed animals and very large cards. Begem and Kolene had come to visit and stayed until “discharge” so they helped us carry all his stuff. Teresa met us at the door after work to drive him home. Harry and I drove his car. We arrived at Teresa’s grandparent’s home where our apartment was ready and stocked with all the comforts of home. Teresa’s Mom, Tracey, even bought me some shampoo and conditioner I had used at their house the last time I was there which I happened to mention that I liked (you can't do that with her because she will make sure you have it the next time you visit) so I could upgrade from the cheap stuff from the Residence Inn. Ben went to bed. Harry went to the store and we made brown rice broccoli and sauteed chicken and garlic for dinner.
I'm going to post now and then will add pictures and continue this entry later.Love to all of you.
Amy
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Cancer Free!
Dear Blog Followers-
I apologize for my obvious lack of activity here lately. Hopefully, you all can understand. ; )
And though I still go cross-eyed when I look at a computer monitor, I thought that this news was too big to go unreported. Dr. Seigne just called. All 25 nodes that they removed were cancer-free. That puts me 90-95% in the clear and officially free to live my life. I have to go for CT scans, chest xrays, and blood work every three months, but hey...at least I live right nearby!
Thank you again to everyone for your support. If anything this experience has reaffirmed the wonderful string of true friends I have left all over the world. I love you all.
~Ben
My favorite example of my supporters! Bruce out winter mountain biking:
I apologize for my obvious lack of activity here lately. Hopefully, you all can understand. ; )
And though I still go cross-eyed when I look at a computer monitor, I thought that this news was too big to go unreported. Dr. Seigne just called. All 25 nodes that they removed were cancer-free. That puts me 90-95% in the clear and officially free to live my life. I have to go for CT scans, chest xrays, and blood work every three months, but hey...at least I live right nearby!
Thank you again to everyone for your support. If anything this experience has reaffirmed the wonderful string of true friends I have left all over the world. I love you all.
~Ben
My favorite example of my supporters! Bruce out winter mountain biking:
Saturday, February 28, 2009
That Night and the Next Morning
Harry and Beaker Resting in the Waiting Room
Beaker, Kolene, Begem and Shahid who came bearing gifts and a big card from Ben's class.
Emily and Liz had come by with a bigggg Cookie Monster balloon. Teresa and Harry reported that Ben's nurse in the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit) and they agreed that he would be out for a few more hours so we decided to run over to get some dinner (since we'd only had carrots and fruit all day) at Jesse's. We ran into Shahid, Kolene and Begem as we were leaving and told them Ben wouldn't be in his room for a while so they left presents and cards in his room which by the way is a single large room with a large picture window looking out on the forest just as he had requested (but they said he couldn't promise. No sooner had we sat down and ordered and were getting our salads at the salad bar when nurse in Ben's room (207) called to say he was very anxious and wanted us to come right away. So we had them pack up our dinner and raced over to his room.
Now, from Harry (Ben's DAD): I have been in the background, not making entries, because I was using my hands to wring in worry. But, now things are better. After Ben's 5-6 hour surgery, I was and Amy was and Teresa was told the surgery went quite well. Turns out Ricky Robot was not brought into the operating room and Leo Laproscope was pressed into action instead. Ben ended up with 4 incsions on the torso front and one on the side. It looks like dashes on a two lane road. Ben was moved to the recovery area (which in his drug laden state he referred to as THE DARTH VADER ROOM.) In reality, it was a regular recovery room. In Ben's doped up state, it was a hell of "Stainless Steel Things and Black Cabinets" Not sure what is bad about that, but in Ben's opinion, it was waaay bad. Teresa and I were designated as the two people who could go into the recovery room and we made our visit. Ben was doped up, loving on her and could barely be open eyed. Part way through the visit, Teresa got real close to my face and said "I think I am going to throw up." Uh Oh. I was kinda flabberghasted. But, she exited the room and was helped by some nurses and another guy. Got her act together outside the recovery room and she came back for more. Poor thing. I guess all the semi alive people kind of got to her.
Soon thereafter, Ben was wheeled to room 207. An overgrown closet with a bed and a few chairs.
We found Ben in the room after we tried to scarf down some dinner at Jesse's and he was still seeing Darth Vader, weirdnesses and thinking Coleen was some evil kneivel. Baaaad Drugs. Bad!
Sit ! Sit drugs. Ben's colleagues, Amy and I left the room about 10 pm and Teresa stayed the night to watch over Lance Grass. - Amy and I got a good night's sleep after an exhausting day and ate breakfast at the Residence Inn with a clown in the lobby who made Ben a cyclist on a balloon bike. Very cool. We made it to the hospital and found Ben looking much better. Catheter gone, color in face back, walking a lot. Gooood. Dr. Seigne popped in and did a post op check in and got his picture taken with Beaker.
Suspect he thought we were a bit koo koo asking for that.
He told us the surgery went very well. Said the lymph nodes did not look suspicious (although Dr. Seigne looked somewhat suspicious) and that there was no bad bleeding, and that they felt they had been kindly to the adjacent nerves. Only the pathology will tell the real story on the nodes and only time will tell if the nerves were affected or not. But, Ben Armstrong is alive, having no ill effects, healing well, having no impuse to be throwing up. He has been taking long walks, and has started eating real foods like yogurt and ice cream.
All through this, Teresa has been so wonderful, a true blue confidant and nurse. She is a good friend and a good person. Trouble is: Hospitals are a pain in the ass for everyone and she has put in goodly long hours at the DNMC and all must congratulate her for staying power and dedication.
Looking forward to Ben being released to us on Sunday or Monday. Then, just recovery and waiting for pathology to tell the next chapter in the life of: Ben Grass- Private Eye.
Thanks to all for all the calls and emails. We love you all.
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Surgery February 27, 2009
Up at 5:30 and packed into car by 5:45. We were an anxious bunch. But Beeker was at the Reception Desk at 4W waiting to check Ben in. Ben had already done his pre - op testing and we took a seat in the waiting room. We waited maybe 10 minutes before a nurse escorted Ben and me into his pre surgery room. After a little prep, they let me get Harry and Teresa. We watched the RN put the IV in Ben's arm, Dr. Seigne, the chief urology resident, Dr. Van Bibber, the anaesthesiologist and his resident came to visit to discuss the procedure and mark the correct side for surgery. They asked him his name and date of birth at the start of every conversation and about a dozen times what he was there for. You would think they would have known. Just kidding. Can't be too careful before you start a 5 hour Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection on an apparently healthy 23 year old. Dr. Cavero, the anaesthesiologist, came back to give Ben some meds to rid him of any anxiety, which hit him in about 2 seconds and was acknowledged with a sedated "whoaa" from Ben as his eye lids slid comfortably to halfway shut and he held up two peace signs. Dr. Cavero then rolled him off into the operating room.
Terry (aka T), Teresa's Grandmother came and kept us occupied with some drawing (from class she and Teresa usually take on Thursday nights but Teresa missed this week so she could be Ben's Florence Nightengale) and conversation. Tracey, Teresa's Mom came by to keep us company with some fruit and water.
At 1:30ish, Dr. Kowal came to let us know they were closing up and everything went well. T was in the bathroom and managed to miss this. And feeling the need to explain her extended absence, she revealed to us that she was in fact painting her nails in the bathroom.
A seemingly tired, Dr. Seigne came out at 2:08 pm to let us know the surgery went smoothly, the lymph nodes did not appear to be enlarged!! They only had to take a small packet of lymph node. They also managed to spare the nerves! They sent the nodes off to pathology and we should know the results sometime next week (it will take a week at the most). Dr. Seigne was very pleased with the result of the operation as were all of us. Ben was supposed to wake up in an hour or two but it was close to 5 before they said two of us could go back to see Ben. T and Harry went back and I'm finishing this entry.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Back to Hanover
On Tuesday, Ben and I started back to the East coast. Believe it or not, United actually got us to Boston on time and Ben and I managed not to have too much drama between us. He and Gary had bets on when we'd get into it first. Gary said in the car. I think Ben said sooner. No sooner had he said that than I got in Ben's way in the kitchen (as I am prone to do) and we hadn't even left the house. Then there was the 2 coat discussion (also before we left the house). As most of you know who know me, I like to be prepared so in my 22" carry on and briefcase bag for 2 weeks (Ben brags to others that I'm the best packer in the world but apparently not this time.), the girl scout in me made me have everything including my own raw sugar packets and 2 coats (in case it's like Alaska like the last time I was here). Of course, Ben had coordinated so that Teresa (who had taken the coach from Hanover to meet us at the airport) was there 10 minutes before us and Marion Eklund (Mom of Ben's friend Andy from Williams) was there to pick us up and give us a warm welcome. All that made it seem like we were coming home. Marion gave us a tour of Wellesley and showed us where we were going to dinner before we headed "home". Ben, Teresa and I went to Blue Ginger to celebrate Teresa's birthday. It was great. Then we headed "home" to the Ecklunds beautiful New England home where we caught up with Paul and Marion and then went to bed.
On Wednesday, we got an early start so we could get to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for pre surgery lab work and appointments. The facility is so easy to navigate and they treat Ben like he's a Lord. I think they treat everyone that way. We got there at 10:30 and didn't leave until 3:30. Good news that Ben's BHCG was still below 1 and the AFP dropped from 9 to 4. Ben's surgeon John Singe inspires great confidence. We all agreed that we made the right decision coming back to Dartmouth for the surgery. Lots of paperwork including some scary stuff like Medical Power of Attorney. Ben also had to attend to some paperwork for his Medical Leave of Absence from Dartmouth which he dropped off this am. Ben and Teresa left me at the Residence Inn and headed to her house to rest. Unfortunately, they didn't have the right room and the one that they had wreaked of air freshener which made me cough (and become asmatic overnight) but it smelled even worse when that dissapated. SMOKE in a non smoking hotel. Ben and I had dinner with Shahid at the Jewel of India. It was great.
Today Ben ran around this morning and this afternoon started the fun process of cleansing his colon in preparation for the surgery. I got our rooms straightened out (really non smoking) but apparently the concept of two last names in one room is not on the New England radar so they only have us under Grass. We have to be there at 6 am for a 7:30 surgery. The surgery is expected to take at least 5 hours.
Harry arrives tonight. He and I will be at the Residence Inn until Ben gets out of the hospital and then we will all be staying at Teresa's grandparents house in an apartment they have graciously offered us until Ben can travel back to Colorado for a few more weeks of recuperation.
I have pictures but I don't have the cord to the camera so we'll have to post those later.
Thank you to all of you who have called and written. I know it makes me feel like you are all here with us.
Love,
Amy
On Wednesday, we got an early start so we could get to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for pre surgery lab work and appointments. The facility is so easy to navigate and they treat Ben like he's a Lord. I think they treat everyone that way. We got there at 10:30 and didn't leave until 3:30. Good news that Ben's BHCG was still below 1 and the AFP dropped from 9 to 4. Ben's surgeon John Singe inspires great confidence. We all agreed that we made the right decision coming back to Dartmouth for the surgery. Lots of paperwork including some scary stuff like Medical Power of Attorney. Ben also had to attend to some paperwork for his Medical Leave of Absence from Dartmouth which he dropped off this am. Ben and Teresa left me at the Residence Inn and headed to her house to rest. Unfortunately, they didn't have the right room and the one that they had wreaked of air freshener which made me cough (and become asmatic overnight) but it smelled even worse when that dissapated. SMOKE in a non smoking hotel. Ben and I had dinner with Shahid at the Jewel of India. It was great.
Today Ben ran around this morning and this afternoon started the fun process of cleansing his colon in preparation for the surgery. I got our rooms straightened out (really non smoking) but apparently the concept of two last names in one room is not on the New England radar so they only have us under Grass. We have to be there at 6 am for a 7:30 surgery. The surgery is expected to take at least 5 hours.
Harry arrives tonight. He and I will be at the Residence Inn until Ben gets out of the hospital and then we will all be staying at Teresa's grandparents house in an apartment they have graciously offered us until Ben can travel back to Colorado for a few more weeks of recuperation.
I have pictures but I don't have the cord to the camera so we'll have to post those later.
Thank you to all of you who have called and written. I know it makes me feel like you are all here with us.
Love,
Amy
Monday, February 23, 2009
Taking Off
My Mom and I are headed back to the east coast tomorrow. It was a great weekend. Exactly what I needed. Lots of laughs with Dad about the most inane stuff. We did some cooking. We did some electrical work (a total failure of course...but at least we got to play in fiberglass insulation for a while). Sophie was nutso, even on sedation.
Saturday was a pretty easygoing day. Dad and I went into Boulder in the afternoon. He dropped me at the Subaru dealership, while we he ran some errands. I guess that we're thinking about trading the "snowpusher" GTI for something more New Hampshire appropriate, like a Subaru outback. Surprisingly, the saleswoman let me drive two cars by myself. Let me tell you, if you want a low pressure sales environment, just mention that you have cancer. I think she was far more worried about me as a mother, then worried about moving the car as a salesperson. Anyway, I drove a used 06 Outback with the turbo and loved it. Super fast, super expensive feeling, tons of ground clearance. I mean...they park these things with the ass-end up on a sidewalk. They didn't have any used 2.5's with the manual, so I drove an 09. Classic Subaru feeling, but not nearly as nice as the turbo. Still, the turbo will always need premium, and, after the GTI, I'm pretty much done with that game. Simple is beautiful this time around. For you cars nuts, the turbo suffered from some light surging. No idea what that was about. The non-turbo seemed to buck a little while using the engine compression to slow the car, though this would probably go away with break-in.
On Sunday Dad and I headed up Coal Creek Canyon from the house to explore around Gross Reservoir. We took Sophie along, and she hiked 3 miles post-surgery with no problem at all. It was beautiful up there too. The reservoir had frozen over, broken up, and then resolidified, producing beautiful patterns. The front range has received basically zero snow this winter. And while this is scary for the summer fire danger, it is wonderful to hike dry trails in february. I wish that I had this kind of a winter when I was trying to mountain bike through it last year. Anyway, it was about 55 for the hike, and today was 67 in town. The hike ended at a beautiful little beach to a frozen South Boulder Creek. We hung out there for a bit. I meditated, and then we headed up to Nederland to grab some grocery items for dinner. Thanks again for such a wonderful weekend Karyn and Dad!
Unfortunately, I forgot my camera up at Dad's, so I won't be able to post pictures of the hike until later. Still, I promise to do so.
A parting note: this weekend I was laying in bed, when I remembered a paper that I had read for biochemistry in college. Basically, it is a review article that reviews how all of the hormonal effects from a unilateral orchiectomy could change one's utilization of food fuels to produce much higher levels of endurance. Specifically, the paper examined Lance's incredible transformation from a one-day cyclist into a grand-tour monster. Considering that I bonk when I roll out of bed, I can only hope that this will allow me to ride for 12 hours straight like Steve and Ed. And yes...I would give my left nut for that. If you're interested in the paper, email me, and I'll send you the PDF.
Saturday was a pretty easygoing day. Dad and I went into Boulder in the afternoon. He dropped me at the Subaru dealership, while we he ran some errands. I guess that we're thinking about trading the "snowpusher" GTI for something more New Hampshire appropriate, like a Subaru outback. Surprisingly, the saleswoman let me drive two cars by myself. Let me tell you, if you want a low pressure sales environment, just mention that you have cancer. I think she was far more worried about me as a mother, then worried about moving the car as a salesperson. Anyway, I drove a used 06 Outback with the turbo and loved it. Super fast, super expensive feeling, tons of ground clearance. I mean...they park these things with the ass-end up on a sidewalk. They didn't have any used 2.5's with the manual, so I drove an 09. Classic Subaru feeling, but not nearly as nice as the turbo. Still, the turbo will always need premium, and, after the GTI, I'm pretty much done with that game. Simple is beautiful this time around. For you cars nuts, the turbo suffered from some light surging. No idea what that was about. The non-turbo seemed to buck a little while using the engine compression to slow the car, though this would probably go away with break-in.
On Sunday Dad and I headed up Coal Creek Canyon from the house to explore around Gross Reservoir. We took Sophie along, and she hiked 3 miles post-surgery with no problem at all. It was beautiful up there too. The reservoir had frozen over, broken up, and then resolidified, producing beautiful patterns. The front range has received basically zero snow this winter. And while this is scary for the summer fire danger, it is wonderful to hike dry trails in february. I wish that I had this kind of a winter when I was trying to mountain bike through it last year. Anyway, it was about 55 for the hike, and today was 67 in town. The hike ended at a beautiful little beach to a frozen South Boulder Creek. We hung out there for a bit. I meditated, and then we headed up to Nederland to grab some grocery items for dinner. Thanks again for such a wonderful weekend Karyn and Dad!
Unfortunately, I forgot my camera up at Dad's, so I won't be able to post pictures of the hike until later. Still, I promise to do so.
A parting note: this weekend I was laying in bed, when I remembered a paper that I had read for biochemistry in college. Basically, it is a review article that reviews how all of the hormonal effects from a unilateral orchiectomy could change one's utilization of food fuels to produce much higher levels of endurance. Specifically, the paper examined Lance's incredible transformation from a one-day cyclist into a grand-tour monster. Considering that I bonk when I roll out of bed, I can only hope that this will allow me to ride for 12 hours straight like Steve and Ed. And yes...I would give my left nut for that. If you're interested in the paper, email me, and I'll send you the PDF.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Reconnecting
Blog readers-
I apologize for my lack of attention to the blog, but the pace of life in Colorado has clearly picked up since the last time that I wrote. This is a good thing and has positively affected my outlook. It has been so great to reconnect with so many people here in Colorado. Nothing pushes me towards healing more than the warm fuzzies.
Monday - I'm sorry...my terrible memory is at it again. I just can't remember what I did only days ago. Please forgive me if I'm leaving someone important out.
Tuesday - After a morning in the kitchen, I spent the afternoon visiting my cousin Melissa and my little cousins: Eli and Emma. Eli and I had a grand old time, as we always do. We drove toy cars for about two hours.
Wednesday - I had lunch with my riding buddy Josh. We rode together quite a bit last year. He's the best matched-for-me mountain biker with whom I've ever ridden, and he's a super nice guy too. We had lunch at the excellent Greek restaurant on Broadway. It was great to catch up with him and nice to hear that Kevan, his girlfriend, was accepted to the Yale School of Nursing. So, they'll be moving out east this summer, and Josh has promised to come up and ride with me once again!
After lunch, I went grocery shopping for a dinner at our house with Gary's sister, Sue, and his brother-in-law, Paul. I was on dinner duty. The dinner was a success, and their dog, Noodles, came over too. He is such a character and total love machine. What a cutie! Again, it was great to see Sue and Paul. I know it meant a lot to them to lay eyes on me.
Thursday - Not the best day. On the advice of multiple people, I decided I would go try to have a massage...not something that I would normally do. So, I go in and fill out the paperwork, including a small checkbox next to "cancer." The massage therapist comes out and invites me back. He takes me into the room and tells me that they don't like to do massage on cancer patient without a doctor's note because massage can cause increased lymphatic flow and, therefore, the potential for metastasis. Regardless of the medical feasibility, nothing has made me feel more like "the sick guy" or damaged goods than that event. So, I headed off to get my handicapped parking sticker...great.
Later on, my cousins Margaret and Larry came over for a little visit, which was great. Larry and Annie both got their requisite amounts of love from one another. That evening, Mom dropped me off at the light rail, and Dad picked me up near his office to head up to his house where I've been ever since.
Friday - I was on Sophie duty. As Dad has explained, Sophie, in solidarity with me, elected to get spayed while I was here. So, in solidarity with her, I took her to the vet early yesterday morning. To say that the women at the vet's office are obsessed with Sophie would be an understatement. From there, I headed to meet up with my old high school friend Kristin. It was great to catch up with her. We talked a lot about med school because she's on her way there now. We also had breakfast at my favorite place in Boulder: The Walnut Cafe. You might remember me mentioning The Walnut in the context of our visit to Penny Cluse in Burlington. Of course, it didn't disappoint.
I spent the rest of the day with David. Again, it just felt so good to catch up with an old friend. David is so comfortable in his own skin, so it can be very comforting to be around him. We laughed almost all day. We hung out for a while at David's place and then went to the beautiful Dushanbe teahouse in downtown Boulder. The teahouse was deconstructed and sent piece by piece from Tajikistan all the way to Boulder. It is a true treasure, and they have amazing tea. David and I walked around Pearl Street, and we went to the bookstore. It was a great day. David gave me a bunch of books and a full set of snowboarding gear! Boots, helmet, and board! The urge to go is almost overwhelming now. And that urge may be satisfied by a quick trip up Coal Creek Canyon to Eldora. I'm worried about falling and hurting myself before all of this but damn...I need an outlet!!!!
Sophie was calm and tired when I picked her up, but of course, she effortlessly jumped on the bed and then yelped when she jumped off. This morning, after two sedatives, she is full of piss and vinegar. It is going to be tough to keep her under control until she heals.
Well, I'll be up at Dad's for the rest of the weekend. Its hard to believe that I'm going back for the surgery in only a few days. It makes everything a lot better knowing that I'll be able to come home again so soon. Let's just home that its not for chemo.
Gary, Susan, and myself (with dinner in the foreground):
Noodles at dinner:
The Dushanbe Teahouse:
David:
I apologize for my lack of attention to the blog, but the pace of life in Colorado has clearly picked up since the last time that I wrote. This is a good thing and has positively affected my outlook. It has been so great to reconnect with so many people here in Colorado. Nothing pushes me towards healing more than the warm fuzzies.
Monday - I'm sorry...my terrible memory is at it again. I just can't remember what I did only days ago. Please forgive me if I'm leaving someone important out.
Tuesday - After a morning in the kitchen, I spent the afternoon visiting my cousin Melissa and my little cousins: Eli and Emma. Eli and I had a grand old time, as we always do. We drove toy cars for about two hours.
Wednesday - I had lunch with my riding buddy Josh. We rode together quite a bit last year. He's the best matched-for-me mountain biker with whom I've ever ridden, and he's a super nice guy too. We had lunch at the excellent Greek restaurant on Broadway. It was great to catch up with him and nice to hear that Kevan, his girlfriend, was accepted to the Yale School of Nursing. So, they'll be moving out east this summer, and Josh has promised to come up and ride with me once again!
After lunch, I went grocery shopping for a dinner at our house with Gary's sister, Sue, and his brother-in-law, Paul. I was on dinner duty. The dinner was a success, and their dog, Noodles, came over too. He is such a character and total love machine. What a cutie! Again, it was great to see Sue and Paul. I know it meant a lot to them to lay eyes on me.
Thursday - Not the best day. On the advice of multiple people, I decided I would go try to have a massage...not something that I would normally do. So, I go in and fill out the paperwork, including a small checkbox next to "cancer." The massage therapist comes out and invites me back. He takes me into the room and tells me that they don't like to do massage on cancer patient without a doctor's note because massage can cause increased lymphatic flow and, therefore, the potential for metastasis. Regardless of the medical feasibility, nothing has made me feel more like "the sick guy" or damaged goods than that event. So, I headed off to get my handicapped parking sticker...great.
Later on, my cousins Margaret and Larry came over for a little visit, which was great. Larry and Annie both got their requisite amounts of love from one another. That evening, Mom dropped me off at the light rail, and Dad picked me up near his office to head up to his house where I've been ever since.
Friday - I was on Sophie duty. As Dad has explained, Sophie, in solidarity with me, elected to get spayed while I was here. So, in solidarity with her, I took her to the vet early yesterday morning. To say that the women at the vet's office are obsessed with Sophie would be an understatement. From there, I headed to meet up with my old high school friend Kristin. It was great to catch up with her. We talked a lot about med school because she's on her way there now. We also had breakfast at my favorite place in Boulder: The Walnut Cafe. You might remember me mentioning The Walnut in the context of our visit to Penny Cluse in Burlington. Of course, it didn't disappoint.
I spent the rest of the day with David. Again, it just felt so good to catch up with an old friend. David is so comfortable in his own skin, so it can be very comforting to be around him. We laughed almost all day. We hung out for a while at David's place and then went to the beautiful Dushanbe teahouse in downtown Boulder. The teahouse was deconstructed and sent piece by piece from Tajikistan all the way to Boulder. It is a true treasure, and they have amazing tea. David and I walked around Pearl Street, and we went to the bookstore. It was a great day. David gave me a bunch of books and a full set of snowboarding gear! Boots, helmet, and board! The urge to go is almost overwhelming now. And that urge may be satisfied by a quick trip up Coal Creek Canyon to Eldora. I'm worried about falling and hurting myself before all of this but damn...I need an outlet!!!!
Sophie was calm and tired when I picked her up, but of course, she effortlessly jumped on the bed and then yelped when she jumped off. This morning, after two sedatives, she is full of piss and vinegar. It is going to be tough to keep her under control until she heals.
Well, I'll be up at Dad's for the rest of the weekend. Its hard to believe that I'm going back for the surgery in only a few days. It makes everything a lot better knowing that I'll be able to come home again so soon. Let's just home that its not for chemo.
Gary, Susan, and myself (with dinner in the foreground):
Noodles at dinner:
The Dushanbe Teahouse:
David:
Monday, February 16, 2009
Empanadas
Well, these past few days have been quite the healing period. Not much has happened. I was supposed to go up to my Dad's house this weekend. Unfortunately, he has fallen quite ill himself, and I can't be getting sick just before my surgery. Really, I've just been lounging and trying to adjust to Colorado time. Yesterday was really my first productive day of note. But before I get to that...
My buddy Andy (the missing Eklund) is out at UC Hastings for law school. He and a friend went down for the prologue of the Tour of California on Saturday. And though he was unsuccessful in my orders to throw some poop at Tyler Hamilton and those Rock Racing assholes, he did capture this beautiful shot of Lance in the TT. It must Lance's conspicuous lack of a testicle that makes him so fast. So now that I meet that requirement, look for me on the tour within a year or two...
Yesterday was so beautiful that I just had to get out for a walk. So, Mom, Gary, Annie, and I headed out on the Highline Canal Trail for a bit. Much to Annie's dismay, she and Gary turned around early due to her progressively nonfunctional hind legs. What a beautiful day, though! People were running in shorts and t-shirts. Not a cloud in the sky. I love Colorado.
After the walk, I headed out to meet Kate (another Williams friend) and Spencer (her b/f) at Whole Foods. Kate is an excellent vegan chef, and together they are quite the duo in the kitchen. Being the nice people that they are, they agreed to cook a meal in our new kitchen. After shopping, we headed home to get started on the meal. Steve, my very best Colorado riding buddy, also made an appearance. All three, but especially Steve, were looking more fit than ever. It was so, so great to see everyone. I felt truly loved.
On the menu: guacamole, mexican salad with chile-roasted pumpkin seeds, vegan/chorizo empanadas, and chocolate-dipped frozen mango for dessert. It was a great night. I have the best friends!
Today was over 60 degrees. Its amazing how good the sun can be for your soul. After a hot tub this morning, I went to the dentist to have a filling repaired. I have to be totally up to date on all dental work, just in case I have to have chemo. Tonight, I'm headed to the Siffrings' house for dinner.
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