Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
And again...
Again...I let the blog slide. For that I apologize. Still, at least I'm still updating at all.
A lot has happened since the last time, but probably the biggest change has been Teresa's absence for the past week. She's been down in the Domincan Republic on a family vacation, forcing me to reckon with my fears of being alone. Clearly, I've missed her very much, but I've also been very, very busy. The pain of her departure was eased somewhat by an unexpected, concurrent visit by my Dad. It was great to see him and be comforted by his presence, especially given that my departure from Colorado was rocked by snowstorms and emotional turmoil. Kolene's mom was up visiting on Sunday, so the four of us all went to brunch in Queechee. It was a great day. Dad and I were able to catch the end of the Dartmouth road race just minutes from my house before he took off for a meeting in Quebec.
I started work on Monday, though I wasn't officially hired until Thursday. Darlene, the project assistant, turned in her resignation letter only days after I decided to come on board. So, Sue (my boss) thought it would be a good thing for me to spend a few days with Darlene before she left. Though I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be doing, Darlene was great. She seems very innocuous at first, but really tells it how it is. I'll miss her presence and guidance, but now I have my own office in the Cancer Center. Pretty cool for a 23 y/o punk. Finally, after weeks of red tape and BS, I was officially offered the job on Thursday, and the pay was higher than any of us were expecting. Very, very cool, especially given all of the anxiety I've been having about my finances lately. I didn't work on Thursday or Friday, but I did teach Kaplan three nights this week. So, I felt that Thursday was a deserved rest.
Much of the week was dominated by unexpected and acute pain in my remaining testicle and inguinal canal. Dr. Seigne was quick to offer reassurances. And though the pain was very severe early in the week, rest, anti-inflammatories, and ice had me feeling much better by Thursday. This was a very good thing because I was very much looking forward to my trip down to Williamstown where I planned to do a lot of riding with Bruce. The weather forecast for the weekend added to the excitement for the trip. I took over for Bruce and Jodi's on Friday morning under beautiful blue skies and with great, great excitement to see my pseudofamily in Williamstown. So far the trip has been absolutely everything I could have hoped for. Great rides (sans testicle pain), beautiful weather (91 F today!!!!!), relaxation, great food, swimming holes, and generally positive vibes. I can't thank Bruce and Jodi enough for the hospitality they have shown me over the years.
I'm dying for Teresa to return tomorrow. I certainly hope that I'll be able to see her before my early bedtime. I have to be at DHMC orientation at 8am on Monday! I also found out that I can avoid the priority system for awesome Dartmouth grad housing if I take a unit as soon as next week. So, my parents and I are mulling that over, but its looking like I'll be moving AGAIN. Hopefully, this is the last time. Hopefully, this is the permanent solution. Hopefully, this will be the home that allows me to earth myself for good.
A lot has happened since the last time, but probably the biggest change has been Teresa's absence for the past week. She's been down in the Domincan Republic on a family vacation, forcing me to reckon with my fears of being alone. Clearly, I've missed her very much, but I've also been very, very busy. The pain of her departure was eased somewhat by an unexpected, concurrent visit by my Dad. It was great to see him and be comforted by his presence, especially given that my departure from Colorado was rocked by snowstorms and emotional turmoil. Kolene's mom was up visiting on Sunday, so the four of us all went to brunch in Queechee. It was a great day. Dad and I were able to catch the end of the Dartmouth road race just minutes from my house before he took off for a meeting in Quebec.
I started work on Monday, though I wasn't officially hired until Thursday. Darlene, the project assistant, turned in her resignation letter only days after I decided to come on board. So, Sue (my boss) thought it would be a good thing for me to spend a few days with Darlene before she left. Though I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be doing, Darlene was great. She seems very innocuous at first, but really tells it how it is. I'll miss her presence and guidance, but now I have my own office in the Cancer Center. Pretty cool for a 23 y/o punk. Finally, after weeks of red tape and BS, I was officially offered the job on Thursday, and the pay was higher than any of us were expecting. Very, very cool, especially given all of the anxiety I've been having about my finances lately. I didn't work on Thursday or Friday, but I did teach Kaplan three nights this week. So, I felt that Thursday was a deserved rest.
Much of the week was dominated by unexpected and acute pain in my remaining testicle and inguinal canal. Dr. Seigne was quick to offer reassurances. And though the pain was very severe early in the week, rest, anti-inflammatories, and ice had me feeling much better by Thursday. This was a very good thing because I was very much looking forward to my trip down to Williamstown where I planned to do a lot of riding with Bruce. The weather forecast for the weekend added to the excitement for the trip. I took over for Bruce and Jodi's on Friday morning under beautiful blue skies and with great, great excitement to see my pseudofamily in Williamstown. So far the trip has been absolutely everything I could have hoped for. Great rides (sans testicle pain), beautiful weather (91 F today!!!!!), relaxation, great food, swimming holes, and generally positive vibes. I can't thank Bruce and Jodi enough for the hospitality they have shown me over the years.
I'm dying for Teresa to return tomorrow. I certainly hope that I'll be able to see her before my early bedtime. I have to be at DHMC orientation at 8am on Monday! I also found out that I can avoid the priority system for awesome Dartmouth grad housing if I take a unit as soon as next week. So, my parents and I are mulling that over, but its looking like I'll be moving AGAIN. Hopefully, this is the last time. Hopefully, this is the permanent solution. Hopefully, this will be the home that allows me to earth myself for good.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Passover
My Dear Blog Followers-
Again, I must apologize for letting time slip away. I'm sure that some of you figured, "Well, the cancer's done. He's gone back to Dartmouth. The blogging must be over." I'm determined to not let that happen. This blog has proved to be such an invaluable tool for keeping in touch with those that I care about that I can't let it slip away. That makes the extremely abbreviated version to follow even more of a crime.
Unfortunately, my anxiety about returning to the Upper Valley reached a crescendo point the afternoon before my departure. Crazy plans trying to work around a crazy "blizzard," finally sent me over the edge. Still, everything turned out to be fine. The storm dropped barely a dusting before my departure, despite the catastrophizing of local news channels. My travels couldn't have gone smoother. Isn't Southwest awesome? Still, leaving the care of my parents and family after months and months of constant supervision and reassurance was not easy. It was like having to become an adult all over again.
One of the two things that I was looking forward to upon my return was waiting for me at the airport. My beautiful, sweet Teresa and I drove home to Hanover, picked up a wonderful Indian dinner, and played house at her grandparents, as they are out of town. I did the other thing that I was excited about on Sunday...the first ride. It proved to be a moderately warm and sunny day to take the Serotta out for her third ride ever. I felt slow and weak, as was to be expected, but luckily I had gotten in a few pedal strokes in on the spinning bike the previous week.
The rest of the week was surprisingly busy. A trip to Burlington on Monday to meet the Kaplan staff and proctoring at Dartmouth that evening. Visiting my future office at the Cancer Center on Tuesday and teaching my first MCAT class at Dartmouth. The class went very well, but word spread like wildfire amongst my classmates that I was back and teaching classes in Dana library. Wednesday was most remarkable for the Seder that Teresa and I hosted at her grandparents house. I spent the afternoon cooking matzo ball soup, noodle kugel, chicken, and a toffee desert. It was wonderful to be surrounded by such good friends on an occasion normally marked by family. The latter half of the week was more unremarkable, although I did get new summer tires for my car and finish a total rebuild of my mountain bike with some tasty new parts. How else is a cyclist supposed to stay sane in a recovery period?
Despite the actual events going on in the week and all of the little tasks that have to be accomplished when one comes home after months of absence, the week was really divided into two parts. The first half of the week was characterized by markedly high anxiety levels on my parts. Again, I felt glued to Teresa's side in an unhealthy way. That part of the week underscored the magnitude of the most important self-assigned task in the months ahead: defeating my reemerging anxiety. The second part of the week was entered after Teresa and I spent a night apart. I began to relax a bit and show less fear about being on my own. And with less strain on the relationship, Teresa and I became even more tightly intertwined. I saw my therapist for the first time in months on Friday, and he feels that there are definitely some interesting things going on surrounding my anxiety and apprehension about being alone. Before I even left to come back, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness meditation everyday. And though I've not been perfect, I have been pretty good.
What else? Well, I've been riding. Its going well, though I'm very, very antsy to get out mtn biking and I'm going to be slow for a while. I've moved into my new room in Barry and Sarah's house, which is much nicer and is on the first floor. Barry is now gone for 9 months to a year in North Carolina working with a restauranteur down there. So, it is just Sarah and I, and she's going to be out of town for quite some time now anyway. That pretty much leaves Saba and I. My job at the cancer center is slightly delayed due to bureaucracy surrounding the hiring freeze at the college, but I'm still hoping to start very soon. I've gotten some phenomenally astronomical bills from the hospital and some very cryptic reasons for insurance rejecting certain claims. As if cancer wasn't bad enough...
And to be honest, that's about it. I'm sending love out to everyone reading this.
Again, I must apologize for letting time slip away. I'm sure that some of you figured, "Well, the cancer's done. He's gone back to Dartmouth. The blogging must be over." I'm determined to not let that happen. This blog has proved to be such an invaluable tool for keeping in touch with those that I care about that I can't let it slip away. That makes the extremely abbreviated version to follow even more of a crime.
Unfortunately, my anxiety about returning to the Upper Valley reached a crescendo point the afternoon before my departure. Crazy plans trying to work around a crazy "blizzard," finally sent me over the edge. Still, everything turned out to be fine. The storm dropped barely a dusting before my departure, despite the catastrophizing of local news channels. My travels couldn't have gone smoother. Isn't Southwest awesome? Still, leaving the care of my parents and family after months and months of constant supervision and reassurance was not easy. It was like having to become an adult all over again.
One of the two things that I was looking forward to upon my return was waiting for me at the airport. My beautiful, sweet Teresa and I drove home to Hanover, picked up a wonderful Indian dinner, and played house at her grandparents, as they are out of town. I did the other thing that I was excited about on Sunday...the first ride. It proved to be a moderately warm and sunny day to take the Serotta out for her third ride ever. I felt slow and weak, as was to be expected, but luckily I had gotten in a few pedal strokes in on the spinning bike the previous week.
The rest of the week was surprisingly busy. A trip to Burlington on Monday to meet the Kaplan staff and proctoring at Dartmouth that evening. Visiting my future office at the Cancer Center on Tuesday and teaching my first MCAT class at Dartmouth. The class went very well, but word spread like wildfire amongst my classmates that I was back and teaching classes in Dana library. Wednesday was most remarkable for the Seder that Teresa and I hosted at her grandparents house. I spent the afternoon cooking matzo ball soup, noodle kugel, chicken, and a toffee desert. It was wonderful to be surrounded by such good friends on an occasion normally marked by family. The latter half of the week was more unremarkable, although I did get new summer tires for my car and finish a total rebuild of my mountain bike with some tasty new parts. How else is a cyclist supposed to stay sane in a recovery period?
Despite the actual events going on in the week and all of the little tasks that have to be accomplished when one comes home after months of absence, the week was really divided into two parts. The first half of the week was characterized by markedly high anxiety levels on my parts. Again, I felt glued to Teresa's side in an unhealthy way. That part of the week underscored the magnitude of the most important self-assigned task in the months ahead: defeating my reemerging anxiety. The second part of the week was entered after Teresa and I spent a night apart. I began to relax a bit and show less fear about being on my own. And with less strain on the relationship, Teresa and I became even more tightly intertwined. I saw my therapist for the first time in months on Friday, and he feels that there are definitely some interesting things going on surrounding my anxiety and apprehension about being alone. Before I even left to come back, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness meditation everyday. And though I've not been perfect, I have been pretty good.
What else? Well, I've been riding. Its going well, though I'm very, very antsy to get out mtn biking and I'm going to be slow for a while. I've moved into my new room in Barry and Sarah's house, which is much nicer and is on the first floor. Barry is now gone for 9 months to a year in North Carolina working with a restauranteur down there. So, it is just Sarah and I, and she's going to be out of town for quite some time now anyway. That pretty much leaves Saba and I. My job at the cancer center is slightly delayed due to bureaucracy surrounding the hiring freeze at the college, but I'm still hoping to start very soon. I've gotten some phenomenally astronomical bills from the hospital and some very cryptic reasons for insurance rejecting certain claims. As if cancer wasn't bad enough...
And to be honest, that's about it. I'm sending love out to everyone reading this.
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